my goal for this summer was to get hot and i already wasted two weeks damn i better get on that
June 2013
i’ve got some kind of allergic reaction going on and my face is breaking out in a bad rash and my mom is freaking out and wants to take me to the ER and my dad was like “let’s not make any rash decisions” and we high fived and now my mom is yelling at us
when i’m married my partner and i will have:
- morning sex
- afternoon sex
- dinner sex
- after meal sex
- i made pancakes sex
- good morning sex
- they kids are at school sex
- shower sex
- bored sex
- make up sex
- break up sex
- obama won sex
- romney lost sex
- monday sex
- tuesday sex
- wednesday sex
- thursday sex
- friday sex
- saturday sex
- monday sex
- there is nothing on tv sex
- i love you sex
what about sunday
sunday is the lord’s day praise jesus
when did i get this fat
i did a push up why am i still fat
Play
0:06
Im buysexual, you buy me food, i become sexual
me: 1080p
you: 144p
if i ever date a famous person and got hate for it I’d honestly be the most sarcastic bitch ever to them I’d be like lol can’t hear you over the great sex we just had
*shaves off eyebrows* fashion
- me: *sick*
- me: *goes on the computer*
- parents: OH I GUESS SINCE YOU'RE ON THE COMPUTER IT MEANS THAT YOU'RE PERFECTLY 100% BETTER NOW GO TO SCHOOL AND GRADUATE AND GET A JOB AND GET MARRIED AND DIE
2 all of my HATERS………….
*wakes up from nap that I didn’t know I was taking*
yes this is exactly what i needed on my dashboard
someone’s job is to sit there and write clean lyrics to raunchy songs for kidz bop
summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
REMEMBER, IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE LEAVING THE HOUSE THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO CHANGE OUT OF YOUR PYJAMAS.
STAY COMFORTABLE, YOU DESERVE IT, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD
Being sexually attractive to your significant other is a pretty big reason.
if your partner stops finding you attractive just cos you’re wearing pyjamas then they sound pretty shit anyway.
it rly sucks when u hate a person everyone likes or like a person everyone hates
i love japen. im always watching animey and reading the mango
how in holy fuck do you not like hawaiian pizza i’m seriously gonna call the police
LISTEN UP DICK NERD. THINGS U PUT ON PIZZA INCLUDE: TOMATO, CHEESE, MEAT, SOME VEGGIES (NOT LIKE CARROTS BUT LIKE ONIONS) AND THATS IT. DONT FUCKIN PUT FRUIT ON PIZZA. FUCKIN
brooke tomatoes are fruits
FUCK YOU
be careful dont trip over my dick
When you’re in the shower and you hear a noise
why do people even password protect their wifi Jesus said you should love they neighbour
“fuck” i whisper to myself as i hear the facebook chat sound come through my speakers
misha-let-me-touch-your-assbutt:
When your teacher is nice but can’t fucking teach
When your teacher is mean but teaches really good
When you’re teacher is nice and teaches really well, but the class is full of fucking twats
When the students are well behaved but the Teacher is still a fucking bitch
when your teacher keeps getting replaced because it’s defence against the dark arts
When you’re singing alone on a golf course
